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Your Handy Guide to Free Jinger User Titles

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happy atheist

Each Free Jinger member has a User Title that corresponds to how many posts they have made. In this example, under my avatar is my user name (happy atheist), followed by my user title (Helpmeet).

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UPDATE: These days I'm an admin and my user title is "fun killer"

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NEW BOARD UPDATE: Now the usernames and titles are above the avatars, like so.

Screen_Shot_2015-10-20_at_10.20.30_PM.th

 

The 5 retired rank titles are: WalMartha, Born to be Plaid, Secretly Bill Gothard, Secretly a Duggar, I AM the Sin in the Camp and I can see Chatter Now! You might see references to those titles in old threads.

 

Many of the user titles we use are references to specific fundies, their beliefs, and board in-jokes. They can be confusing or downright baffling if you aren't familiar with what is being referenced. Here is a list of the current post level and User Titles, along with an explanation of their origins, and links where appropriate.

 

User Titles


0 You're All Going To Hell - a typical overreaction to Free Jinger snark.

 

5 Bathroom Baby - That Wife sleeps her baby in the bathroom. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=4371&p=96424#p96424.

 

10 Tater Tot - a favorite food amongst Quiverfull families with too many mouths to feed is Tater Tot Casserole.

 

15 Lurking Since Yuku - before moving out on our own, FJ used to be located at Yuku http://freejinger.yuku.com. It's not uncommon for a low-post-count user to say they've been lurking since Yuku as a way of asserting legitimacy.

 

20 I'll Be Praying for You - the ultimate fundie put down.

 

25 Blanket Trained - a reference to the practice of "blanket training" babies, also known as beating the curiosity out of infants.

 

40 Pearl Clutcher - when someone is easily offended they are said to clutch their pearls. Picture an old prude.

 

50 Kissed Dating Goodbye - courtship is so much better than dating!

 

60 Holding Out for Hand Sex - Josh and Anna Duggar were allowed to touch but not kiss during their engagement. Their enthusiastic hand-holding looked a lot like sublimation.

 

75 Speshul Snowflake - someone who perceives themselves as so special that the rules do not pertain to them. See: pretty much everyone discussed here. When you have 75 posts you have access to Quiver Full of Chatter, which makes you just about as special as you can be on FJ.

 

100 Frumper Lover - a frumper is a frumpy jumper, the modest style of dress favored by many fundie women.

 

150 Doula for Destiny - overblown self-appointed title of homebirth hobbyist Teresa Fedosky. Discussed here: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=25826&hilit=doula+for+destiny&start=180#p933766

 

200 Being Paid in Jellybeans - Erika Shupe has a massively draconian reward system for her children. For every 5 stickers they get, they earn a single jellybean. A. Single. Jellybean.

 

250 Degreed Law Professionalâ„¢ - an FJ inside joke based on a poster who trumpeted her status as a Degreed Law Professionalâ„¢, and explained complex legalities to us. Such as the fact that child porn is illegal. It gets good right around here: viewtopic.php?f=81&t=25395&start=20#p932560

 

300 Children Stacked Like Cordwood - quiverfull families generally have way more kids than bedrooms, or even beds, and resort to extreme measures. For instance, using industrial shelving as bunkbeds viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1080&hilit=lias+shelving+bed#p22253.

 

350 In Full-On *beam* Mode - Erika Shupe has an incredibly annoying way of writing *chuckle* -- and a terrifying way of smiling. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=25981&start=240#p942697

 

400 Vigorous Leghumper - named for an unruly dog's favorite behavior, a leghumper is an ardent fan. A vigorous leghumper is an extremely ardent fan.

 

450 Partaking of Hell's Cocktail - Michael Pearl calls porn "Hell's Cocktail" viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26140

 

500 Serial Courter - courting is supposed to be better than dating because you only court the person you intend to marry, which is why we find the number of prominent fundies with broken courtships so puzzling.

 

550 Bodily Fluid Performance Artist - in honor of everyone's favorite batshit crazy neopagan priestess/sex magician, Ms Graveyard Dirt viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26229

 

600 Robotkin (used to be Robobotkin) - the Botkin family is very robotic.

 

650 Not a "Job Type" Person - John Shrader, David Rodrigues, and XGay Greg are all not job-type people. When it comes to working they would prefer not to, so they decide that they have a calling, a mission from God, and it involves sitting on their asses while other people support them.

 

700 Homeskool Hero - homeschooling in the fundie world often contains very little actual education.

 

750 Even My Hamster Homeschools - Zsu Zsu Anderson's hamsters had babies (much to her surprise it seems), but no worries! The mama hamster is a homeschooler! viewtopic.php?f=8&t=25081&start=360#p890509

 

800 Anaconda Hunter - Doug Phillips (is a tool) likes to take men on manly adventures, such as anaconda hunting in the Amazon. Seriously.

 

850 Interviewed by Megyn Kelly - Fair and balanced "reporting" is Ms Kelly's specialty, especially when it comes to coddling the Duggars.

 

900 Bought My House in Cash - a debt-free lifestyle is something that many fundies aspire to.

 

950 Moody Family Fanfic Author - Sarah Maxwell has written numerous achingly wholesome books about the Moody family.

 

1000 Vision Forum Intern - Vision Forum has interns who spend time on FJ, presumably collecting intelligence on the heathens to report to Doug the Tool.

 

1050 Passed the "Good Person" Test If you've ever acted like a normal human being, you have failed the Good Person Test and will go the Hell. Just thought you'd like to know.

 

1111 Level Eleventy!!1!!11! - when something is so exciting that your finger slips off the shift key and your exclamation points become ones, that something is eleventy!!1!

 

1200 Had Green Hair in College - The Bates kids are glad they don't get to go to college, because if they did they might have to sit near a kid with green hair, and we all know that's a one-way ticket to debauchery and sin.

 

1250 Got A Horse From God - Miss Raquel thinks God gave her a horse http://freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic. ... 25#p105225.

 

1300 More Modest Than Thou - Modest is hottest!!

 

1350 Certified Expert in Everything - We have some users who are never ever at a loss for facts or personal anecdotes and expertise, no matter the topic under discussion. Ever.

 

1400 Degreed Medical Professionalâ„¢ - a subspecies of the Certified Expert in Everything, tangentially related to the Degreed Law Professionalâ„¢.

 

1450 There's More Children Where Those Came From - this could apply to so many of the people we discuss, those who see family planning as a competitive sport and are bent on winning. The direct inspiration for this title is John Shrader.

 

1500 At the Creation Museum - the Creation Museum is a real place, believe it or not. You can buy a season pass and everything.

 

1550 Homesteader in Training - the Naugler family lived in a lean-to full of goat shit, sleeping their entire 12-member family on a single mattress, eating diseased turtles, and claimed to be "practicing" for homesteading. And then they got mad when their kids were taken away. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=25937

 

1600 Reversal Baby - since birth control is against the rules, a popular pastime for fundie men is having their vasectomies reversed and making more babies warriors for christ. Steve Maxwell did it, and you should, too.

 

1650 Awaiting the Lord's Pizza Delivery - according to Teri Maxwell, to ask Steve if he remembered to order a pizza when her family was coming over for dinner would not be "reverencing" him sufficiently, and his dick would fall off (or something). As a woman it is her job to let the man be responsible for everything, and he's responsible to god. By not reminding him to order the pizza, or (let's not get crazy!) ordering it herself, she was showing her faith. Her exact quote is "It could have been the Lord’s plan not to have the timing for the pizza arrival be our timing." viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26487

 

1700 Praying for a GOOD Baby - when RV-dweller Jill Rodrigues was in labor with her 12th, she prayed very specifically for a "good" baby, meaning one that slept a lot and didn't cry. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26333&start=780#p994770

 

1750 Made My Blog Private - many fundies become offended when their public blogs are mocked or their beliefs are questioned, and they will make their blogs private in response.

 

1800 Reverencing My Cheese Paper Sandwich - Remember the hilarious time that Teri Maxwell ate half of her sandwich before realizing that it contained a piece of paper? Oh how we laughed! viewtopic.php?f=96&t=26487&hilit=reverencing&start=80#p982703

 

1850 Shielded by Schadenfreude - as "Hateful Bitches" we at FJ take great pleasure in the misfortune of others. It makes us nigh-invulnerable to normal human feelings. This reference is from AYTFJ, and only viewable to members with at least 75 posts: viewtopic.php?f=10&t=26418&p=983049&hilit=shielded#p982822

 

1900 - My Kids Have Never Even Heard of Halloween - the Maxwells yet again. Their kids were scared by trick-or-treaters and the (no doubt grotesque and horrific) decorations at the nursing home. viewtopic.php?f=96&t=26487&start=100#p982864

 

1950 Tits2 Woman - being a Titus 2 Woman is a fundie badge of honor. It's some sort of mentor thing where self-righteous older women like Teri Maxwell lecture younger women about how they're doing marriage wrong. Somewhere along the line someone (Zsu maybe?) made this amusing typo.

 

2000 Purity Baller - a Purity Ball is something like the prom, except girls attend with their fathers, and pledge their purity to their fathers. Sometimes there are rings. It is exactly as gross as it sounds.

 

2050 Elitist About Toilets - the Naugler family sparked a lively discussion about how to do homesteading properly. Some of us are not interested in outhouses or pooping in the woods because we are toilet elitists. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=25937&start=800#p989571

 

2100 Escaped the Penningtentiary - Lisa and James Pennington treat their adult children like prisoners, and even deny them proper identification such as birth certificates. Their daughter Alecia Faith managed to break away from them and even got Texas to pass a law aimed at preventing such identification abuse.

 

2150 Taking Porn by the Horn - Lori Anderson's tips for avoiding child molestation include "taking porn by the horn" which certainly sounds like a masturbation euphemism to me. viewtopic.php?f=95&t=21670&p=726263&hilit=porn+by+the+horn#p726263

 

2200 - A Cheese Plagiarist and a Liar - Erika Shupe claims to make her own macaroni and cheese, but she has boxes of Kraft mac n cheese in her pantry. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26559&start=200#p997348

 

2250 My Quiver is Fuller Than Yours - Michelle Duggar and Kelly Bates are engaged in a battle to the death to see who can have the most arrows for God, aka children.

 

2300 Witnessing, Weeping & Wondering - John Shrader is having a difficult go of it in Zambia. No one seems to appreciate the tracts he makes his kids hand out. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=24929&start=860#p997490

 

2350 - Jesus is My Realtor - Jill Rodrigues would really like her free house, now, please. But make sure it has at least 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a one car garage, a flat yard, and is within 20 minutes of their church. viewtopic.phpf=8&t=25063&start=460#p894562

 

2400 Converting with Cookies - the African christians that all these noble missionaries are trying to convert to the PROPER form of christianity are onto their game and will often attend prayer meetings simply for the refreshments. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26680&hilit=converting&start=40#p998664

 

2450 Steely Defender of FJ Purity - some people are sensitive about negative changes to board culture, others wish they would lighten up.

 

2500 Hits the Pearls with Plumbing Line - Debi and Michael Pearl advocate child abuse, including beating infants with plumbing line. We'd like to show them what it feels like.

 

2550 Never Had a Goth Phase - someone took to calling longtime member formergothardite "goth," but she (along with so many fundies) never had a goth stage.

 

2600 Dancing for Jesus - adding "for Jesus" to the end of any activity automatically makes it holy. Just ask Lori Alexander viewtopic.php?f=95&t=25361&p=957547#p957503

 

2650 In Satan's Hidden Fortress - when Josh Duggar's Ashley Madison accounts were discovered he released a statement that was edited numerous times. The first version included a reference to Satan building a hidden fortress in his heart which apparently caused him to look and porn and cheat on his wife.

 

2700 Protector of Women's Virtue - apparently this is what Jessa Duggar's husband Ben Seewald sees himself as.

 

2750 Pepsi is My Idol - Teri Maxwell gave up Pepsi because she liked it too much, and she is not allowed to feel happiness.

 

2800 Hiding from God - there's no use trying to hide your sins because he can see them all anyway, right?

 

2850 Biggest Hypocrite Ever - another one from Josh Duggar's "oops I cheated on my wife" statement.

 

2900 Made From 100% Smugglyester - an FJ user jokingly called Josh Duggar the "half-smug prince", but we all know he's pure smug through and through.

 

2950 World's Most Inept Missionary - John Shrader dragged his whole family to Zambia to win souls. After a year in the field he has won two. But! He has killed a snake, grifted a full-size freezer, an airplane (that he still has not flown), a big SUV, some kind of amazing $6000 printer, several tons of paper, and materials to build a bible display case. He's also lost his sending church and many of his supporting churches, put out a collection box to beg money from the people he's supposed to be saving, and somehow managed to siphon donations made in the wake of his sister's death away from her husband and young daughter. And we all know that's just what Jesus would do.

 

3000 Pecan Thief - David Waller (Anna Duggar's brother-in-law) nearly got arrested for "gleaning" pecans. Read all about it here freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=14172&hilit=pecan+thief&start=220#p436672.

 

3050 Drinking the Tater Tot Kool-Aid - another gem from the Joshley Madison scandal. The Duggars eat a lot of Tater Tots. "Drinking the Kool-Aid" refers to unthinking belief. Tater tot Kool-Aid would be the most repulsive flavor ever.

 

3100 Sherlock Jesus Holmes - Jill Rodrigues tried very hard to suss out why the employees of the thrift store were rude to her and her children. And they were only sniffing the candy anyway, jeez! viewtopic.php?f=268&t=23546&p=838441&hilit=sherlock+jesus+holmes#p838441

 

3150 Petting the Mystical Orange Penis Ferret - a very old reference (from Yuku times) to something Miss Raquel wrote. The mentions on this board are in AYTFJ, viewable to any member with at least 75 posts. viewtopic.php?f=10&t=26836&p=1011209p1011229 The yuky thread: http://freejinger.yuku.com/reply/105771 ... eN0rumlFsd

 

3200 Living the Million Dollar Tropical Fish Lifestyle - a now-flounced FJ member regaled us with tales of her super-expensive constipated fish (yes, you read that right). This is another one from AYTFJ: viewtopic.php?f=10&t=26836&hilit=fish&start=140#p1011643

 

3250 Savoring 2 Animal Crackers - apparently when Steve Maxwell is on a diet, everyone in the family gets to have 2 whole animal crackers to celebrate his birthday.

 

3300 Professor of Anal Hurtedness - similar to a Degreed Medical Professionalâ„¢, but specializing in butthurt.

 

3350 Keeper of Schrödinger's Uterus - one can not be both pregnant and not pregnant at the same time, can one?

 

3400 I Make Up My Own Words - Erika Shupe is a homeschooler, so she makes up her own words. And apparently she doesn't realize that "decluttering" is a real word. Good thing she's responsible for the education of 9 kids!

 

3450 Swimming in Essential Oils - many fundies consider essential oils to have, basically, magical powers. If you use enough of the stuff you don't need traditional medicine.

 

3500 On a Sparkling Adventure - Australian unschooler Lauren Fisher drags her poor daughters around in a bus on a Sparkling Adventure. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=11137 and freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=14804]blogs endless about their neglect.

 

3550 Radiant Butterfly of Repentance - how Josh will be portrayed when he leaves "sex addiction" "rehab."

 

3600 In the Hamster Cage of Horrors - aka Erika Shupe's overly scheduled house.

 

3650 Demon-Possessed Landlord - The Shrader family had a little trouble with their landlord and had to move out of the House on the Hill, which I'm pretty sure Jesus told them was the house he wanted them to live in. But anyway. There is a dearth of beef jerky and ranch-flavored sunflower seeds in Africa and we are sorely tested. Send money, y'all! viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26680&start=180#p1021453

 

3700 Only Online to Help My Aging Parents - RC Sproul JR had an Ashley Madison account :roll: But don't worry! He wasn't using it to fornicate! He's an ancient 50-year-old-man who doesn't understand how the internet works, and was merely doing research. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26915#p1019599

 

3750 Sleeps With The Purity Bear - "I know she's cuddly. Look at me. I'm cuddly," says the Purity Bear viewtopic.php?f=8&t=7209. He's a talking teddy bear here to remind you that premarital sex is evil, unless you're a furry.

 

3800 Purposing the Lesbian Agenda - Michelle Duggar blamed the FOIA release of Josh's police report on some sort of mysterious lesbian cabal. Because, sure, why not. I'm not saying it was lesbians, but... it was lesbians. :?

 

3850 Wearing Pink to the Parking Lot Pickle Orgy - post-2315-14452000871641_thumb.jpg

 

3900 Could Lead to Hand-Holding & Fornication - According to Steve Maxwell's line of thinking, everything is evil, even Sunday school. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=27025&start=160#p1034084

 

3950 Winning the Zambian Print Ministry Wars - John Shrader and his former Team Zambia teammate Stephen Rea are competing for the lucrative "handing out tracts in Africa" market. Rea has the advantage because he has the keys to the plane.

 

4000 Fundie Wedding Crasher - When you post an open invitation to your wedding on the internet, there's no telling who might show up. These days a lot of fundies are considerate enough to livestream the blessed event so we can all crash from the comfort of our living rooms.

 

4050 SEVERELY Addicted to Green Eyeliner - Jill Rodrigues never does things halfway. She has SEVERE miscarriages, not the regular gentle kind. Her sister Amy had a SEVERELY broken neck, not just a boring old broken neck. Jill also gives makeup tutorials where she advises caking on the green eyeliner. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26654&p=1003475&hilit#p1003460

 

4100 Wears Only "Eye Traps" - In Gothardism, an eye trap is any article of clothing that draws men's eyes to a woman's boobs or crotch. Like pants.

 

4150 Fearmongering with a Christ-like Spirit - There was this one time when Jill Rodrigues saw a trans woman in the bathroom at IHOP, and it was, like, the scariest thing ever. When the IHOP manager didn't react suitably, Jill and David flagged down a passing policeman (seriously), and when he didn't arrest anyone over this, they made some calls. But of course, all of this was done "to exercise a Christ-like spirit and love." viewtopic.php?f=268&t=25888&p=943161&hilit=trans#p943141 original post: rodriguesfamilyministries.com/main/?p=2009

 

4200 Bringing Froot Loops for Dessert - Erika Shupe, who blogs about her mad homemaking skillz, says of Froot Loops "It's a fun dessert to bring to a friend's house when we've volunteered to bring dessert!" viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26559&p=1037787&hilit#p1037787

 

4250 Waiting for Prince Charming - The practice of sitting around the house, praying for Daddy to find the perfect man for you to marry. Leads to unrealistic expectations, and a whole lot of infantilized SAHDs in their 20s and 30s. See: Sarah Maxwell, Sarah Mally, the Botkinettes.

 

4300 If You Disagree With Me, You Disagree With GOD! - The best way to shut down any argument. See Erika Shupe, Zsu Zsu Anderson.

 

4350 Still Smug, Still Pregnant - ie Jessa Duggar Seewald. viewtopic.php?f=87&t=27162

 

4400 *not associated with the International Mission Board - Jill Duggar Dillard and her husband Derick like to pretend that they're missionaries so that leghumpers will give them money. But they're not actually qualified. :oviewtopic.php?f=87&t=27177#p1042739

 

4450 Ogling the Big White Baby - Jill again. Apparently everyone is Guatemala is enraptured by little Izzy. Mission work accomplished!

 

4500 Got Engaged at Arby's - Only the most romantic setting will do when it's time for a young man and a woman's father to let her know she'll be getting married http://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/629/They-Make-the-Duggars-look-Dirty#.USuE_6UWn-l.

 

4750 Awkward Virgin Honeymoon - Can you imagine the discomfort and cognitive dissonance of going from a no-touch courtship and engagement to losing your virginity to a virtual stranger in the space of a few hours? After being told sex is "like legos." We can't either.

 

5000 Gave Birth on the Toilet - Poor modest Anna Duggar gave birth to son Michael on the toilet, on camera, while sluggard husband Josh napped.

 

5250 Buddy Team Captain - The Duggar family assigns their older daughters the care of all the young kids, aka "buddies." Each girl is responsible for a buddy team, while Michelle is only responsible for trying to make more buddies.

 

5500 Sister Wife - The term used in polygamous families for the plural wives. Also could refer to a member of Kody Brown's harem.

 

5650 Moving to Alaska - Poor Cabinetman. When the feminists of the internet found out about him, they persecuted him so hard he had to move his family all the way to Alaska for protection! Except that he didn't actually move.

 

5750 On the 1TonRamp - The Maxwells offer "Jesus centered" IT training through their company IT On Ramp, but the logo reads as 1Ton Ramp. Hilarity ensues.

 

5900 Noted Duck Biologist - in honor of Geoff Botkin viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26278&p=965470#p965234 - it originated here in Geoff's bio: viewtopic.php?f=93&t=20076&start=1060#p660015

 

6000 Under New Headship - When a fundie woman gets married, the authority over her passes from her Daddy to her new headship, her husband.

 

6100 Spiritual Kamikaze - Ken Alexander describes his wife Lori as a spiritual kamikaze, "willing to risk death over capture or defeat by her enemies." viewtopic.php?f=95&t=22541&p=760637&hilit=spiritual+kamikaze#p760637

 

6250 Skirt Cheese Connoisseur - Ah, [link=http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=6952]Emily[/link]. Why waste money buying cheesecloth when you can use an old skirt to drain your homemade cheese? There are pictures of this if you look hard enough.

 

6500 - Joyfully Submitting - a Godly woman submits to her headship (aka husband) with a smile on her face no matter what, even if he's wrong. See: Lori Alexander.

 

6750 Browsing at Duggar Automotive - Duggar Automotive is the used car lot where Josh Duggar "works." He also "owns" it.

 

7000 Pisseth Against the Wall - Steve Anderson, aka the [link=http://freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=4209]Pissing Preacher[/link], preached a fiery sermon about how Godly men should urinate. Watch it here for a good laugh:

RNCoevpt5TE

 

7250 Jesus is My Boyfriend - the baffling and inappropriate motto of a certain subset of young fundie women.

 

7350 Sanctified Paper Supplier - John Shrader claims to be setting up a print ministry in Zambia, but if he ever actually prints anything, we expect the locals will have other uses for it. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=24929&p=931077p931066

 

7500 Child Collector - a mother that seems to care more about the number of children she has than the actual children themselves, especially if those children are adopted from foreign countries.

 

7750 On the CollegeMinus Dean's List - CollegePlus is sort of like homeschool college, only scammier. The Duggars shilled for them for a while, but never "graduated."

 

8000 Enjoying Sweet, Sweet Fellowship - Fellowship is a fundie term for visiting with like-minded people. Or possibly having sex.

 

8100 100% Barbarian DNA - I'm not totally clear on this, but it involves the Pissing Preacher claiming that Darwin caused the holocaust, and PP getting genetic testing to determine that he's a pure-blood barbarian. :shrug:viewtopic.php?f=94&t=22755&hilit=100%25+barbarian+dna#p769096

 

8250 On a Manly Romp - Doug Phillips is a tool who likes to take young men on sweaty, manly, hazardous journeys.

 

8500 Peeling Ray Comfort's Banana - According to Ray, the banana is an atheist's nightmare because it proves intelligent design. Also, it's the most phallic thing ever, especially the way Ray talks about it while Kirk Cameron looks on in awe.

0geHA2yHSZI

 

8750 I Crochet Sanitary Products - Because, why wouldn't you crochet tampons? I mean, apart from the comfort and hygiene concerns. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=14619

 

9000 Titus 2 Mentor - A good christian woman who mentors new helpmeets or helpmeets-in-waiting on how to live according to the bible verse Titus 2. See Lori Alexander for a particularly smug example. Also, the Maxwell family's website is titus2.com.

 

9100 God of the Uterus - an entertaining misreading of God of the Universe viewtopic.php?f=95&t=25361&p=961025#p961025

 

9250 All Riffled Up - Kendal (aka Kendull) repeatedly misspelled "rifle" as "riffle" in a heartwarming story about how her grandfather used to take firearms to school. An enterprising FJ poster suggested that henceforth typos be called riffles. You will often see posts on FJ that have been "edited for riffles."

 

9500 Four Under Four - Livin' the Quiverfull dream, 4 kids under the age of 4, and probably another on the way.

 

9750 Wide Stance - Good old Doug Phillips, tool extraordinaire, took a particularly wide stance at a wedding, perhaps inspired by disgraced senator Larry Craig who was arrested for soliciting gay sex in an airport bathroom, but claimed he just had a "wide stance."

post-2315-14451996512438_thumb.jpg

 

10000 PhD in Homemaking - What a homeschooled fundie girl gets instead of an actual education.

 

10250 Flouncing Fundie - When you can't take the heat, flounce out of the kitchen. Take your ball and go home. In other words, when confronted with facts not to your liking, dramatically storm out of a discussion on FJ, make your blog private, or delete it altogether.

 

10500 Going For #20 - In competition with Michelle Duggar and Kelly Bates to see who can reach the magic number of blessings (aka children) first.

 

10750 Jesus Camp Counselor - Pretty self-explanatory. A counselor at bible camp.

 

11000 Hijacked Uriah - Uriah is the Maxwell family's bus.

 

11100 Stalking L Ron Cupboard The feminists sure have it in for poor Cabinetman.

 

11250 Gloodle Lover - Another culinary delight from Emily. Mix flour and water into a paste and drizzle it into a crockpot of cold water. Eventually you will get to enjoy gluey noodles! Yum!

 

11500 Under the Umbrella of Protection - As long as young fundies obey their fathers utterly, they stay under his umbrella of protection and the devil can't get them. But if they step out of line, even once, they are doomed to hell. This leads to SAHDs and purity pledges and all the rest.

 

11750 Burned My Purity Pledge - A contract or pledge signed by a young fundie girl in which she pledges her virginity to her daddy until he chooses a husband for her to be handed over to. There are sometimes ceremonies where the girl wears a white dress and Daddy gives her a ring. Yes, it is as gross and inappropriate as it sounds. See [link=http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=11732]Treasures From a Shoebox[/link]

post-2315-14451996514176_thumb.jpg

 

12000 Overpopulating Jacksonville, FL - According to such experts on global issues as Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, overpopulation is a myth. These experts assure us that the earth's population, all 7 billion of us, could fit within the confines of Jacksonville, Florida. Therefor, there's no problem! We should all have 20 kids!

 

12250 Had a No-Touch Engagement - The epitome of weird/horrible courting practices and the current leader in the More Modest Than Thou competition. Two young people, most often through the guidance/interference of their fathers, decide to marry. The girl's father places the engagement ring on her finger so she doesn't contract a bad case of cooties. They spend their very short engagement seeing each other rarely, speaking on the phone occasionally, always in the presence of chaperones. They do not kiss. They do not touch. Then they get married, have a really awkward first kiss in front of everyone they know, "enjoy" an Awkward Virgin Honeymoon (see level 4750), and start pumping out blessings.

 

12500 Finished My ChorePack! - The Maxwells sell flashcards with chores on them that busy mothers can clip to their children's clothes so the kids know their jobs without having to actually be interacted with.

 

12750 Got Lost on the Journey - The Journey to the Heart is a Gothard/IBLP retreat that many FJers see as reindoctrination camp. The Duggars are fond of sending their daughters on the Journey when they show a spark of life that must be extinguished ASAP.

 

13000 - The brief-lived Free Jinger Digest attempted to snark on the snarkers, but with kindness. All swear words were .

 

13250 Shunned Keller Sibling - The Keller family produced Josh Duggar's helpmeet Anna, pecan thief and pregnant beard Priscilla Waller, and mother of 8/pop-up camper dweller Esther Shrader. In addition to these exemplars of the fundie way of life, they have several children who left the movement. They are shunned.

 

13500 Escaped Maxhell - The Maxwell family does not believe in fun. Every moment should be spent contemplating the lord, or actively praying. If you are enjoying yourself, you're doomed to hell. Elizabeth Munck was engaged to Joseph Maxwell, but once she saw her future under Steve's thumb, she broke the engagement at the last minute and escaped Maxhell. Go Elizabeth!

 

13750 Uses Google Tactics - Ken Anderson hates FJ's "Google tactics" which cause "Lori Alexander is a Fucking Monster" to appear on a search of her name. He tried so very hard to get Google to fix it, and to make us be nicer to his monster of a wife, by mansplaining how terrible we are. viewtopic.php?f=95&t=21209&p=702434&hilit=google+tactics#p702434

 

14000 Great Whore of Babylon - According to Cabinetman Robert and his wife Amanda, FJ is the Great Whore of Babylon. Mazel tov, ladies.

 

14250 On What Some Might Call a Vacation - Every summer the Maxwell clan packs up all their spiffy matching denim skirts and polo shirts and goes to Colorado for a highly regimented time.

 

18000 Performs Rocket Surgery - The valedictorian of the School of the Dining Room Table is a highly qualified Rocket Surgeon.

 

25,000 Minister of Snark - This might be an actual honorific. If you make it to 25,000 posts, you deserve it.

 

50,000 Raptured! - Off to your eternal reward, leaving all us sinners behind.

 

 


Custom User Titles

Helpmeet - this title is used by admins, mods and other members of the behind the scenes team.

Fluffy Bunny - this is Curious's somewhat misleading user title. Curious is the board owner and can choose whatever she likes.

 


Several times custom user titles were available as rewards for donations, or for services rendered. If you're wondering what one means, you'll have to ask the user.

 

If you have a good link to illustrate one of these, PM me and I'll add it.

 

This list is a work in progress. As we add more titles, I will update it.


Trying to figure out the words under your username?  Check our Handy Guide to User Titles.

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